Gridiron Gab: Tile A Whirl Swirl

I try to view things in context, keep a broad perspective, look at what’s happening from different angles.

It doesn’t always work.

Like my sense that Kentucky would not fire Mark Stoops this year.

I was wrong.

Now, I understand.

They’ve been crushed by their hated rival two years in a row, the latest a lay down skunking last Saturday. After being battered by Vanderbilt the weekend before.

No bowl eligibility — a minimal standard — for the second season in a row.

Mitch Barnhart, you’re on the clock.

One has to assume they’ll make a pitch for former Cardinal Will Stein. Whose dad played for the Wildcats, and who grew up a UK fan.

* * * * *

Marty Smith’s long sleepless vigil is over.

There’s been a puff of white smoke from the chimney of Billy Jo Gautreau’s Gator Gumbo Shack in Baton Rouge, heralding the next coming of another Savior.

The long running Lane Kiffin soap opera like no other has concluded. For this year anyway. With this “star” it may always find another network. He did leave Tennessee after a single season.

Smith caught up with Kiffin Sunday, after the ex-Mississippi coach had announced for his new gig at LSU, then denied the opportunity to say bye bye to his team a meeting. Good for the Ole Miss folks.

Kiffin seemed chastened. He was soft spoken.

Gave lip service to his heart “being at Ole Miss.”

Said “I talked to God, and he told me it was time to take the step.”

Geez, the guy’s got the Lord’s private cellphone number. I gotta find out how.

This move is unprecedented.

This move is disgusting. At least how it was handled by LK.

* * * * *

Speaking of the Johnny Rebs. Breakout QB Trinidad Chambliss’s jersey was stolen from his locker before the rivalry battle with Cowbell State.

There is conjecture it might have been Kiffin or a manager at coach’s request who did it, as a tool to rile up his team.

Makes sense to me.

Self indulgent memory immediately ahead.

During my one year of HS football, on the Atherton jayvee team, we got to dress for the season ending varsity game against Shawnee.

All week, as a motivational tool, coach Jack Kleier kept telling us how the West Enders called us “cake eaters.”

And wouldn’t you know it, when we arrived in the locker room to dress for the game, there was a sheet cake with a bunch of 3×5 cards with derisive notes about individual players being “cake eaters.” We were advised the cake was at the locker room door when the coaching staff arrived.

At which time, coach did his best Knute Rockne inspirational speech, while walking around the room, smearing pieces of cake in our leading players’ faces.

Much of the team bought into the ruse, truly thinking the cake had been left by Shawnee folks. I remember thinking, my teammates actually believe this malarky and are getting riled up.

(Which skeptical mentality is one of the reasons I only played a year of football.)

The game on a cold cold night at Manual Stadium finished in a 13-13 tie. To close out a 3-6-1 season.

* * * * *

Speaking of Atherton football, what had been a glorious season to that point had a frankly disturbing ending Friday night in Somerset.

Pulaski County 17, listless Atherton 0.

I actually sprang for fifteen bucks to stream the 5A semi-final game.

My team, lifeless, without apparent desire, direction or drive was smacked about from the opening kick.

Those of you who have been following along here know I’ve been on a crusade, continuing to refer to JMA as the Rebels. But I’d made a decision if the school had won the state, I was going to acknowledge the Ravens thing, that it was a new era after years of underwhelmingness.

So much for that.

* * * * *

As for that college coaching Tilt A Whirl, which is spinning out of control as if the drive chain had broken, these updates just in.

The Memphis State coach to Arkansas. Sayonara Bobby P. Look for his to end up coaching at, oh, Eastern Idaho A&M.

The Tulane coach who played at Kentucky to Florida.

The South Florida coach to Auburn.

Ole Miss kept it from within, elevating the DC.

Former Northwestern guy to Michigan State.

No word from the Nittany Lion muckety mucks in State College.

* * * * *

Big fan of Vanderbilt, a school I should have attended. Where my older brother went.

While this is by all accounts the Commodores best season ever, there have been moments of success in the days of yesteryore.

When my bro was in school there, mom, dad and I traveled down to watch them play #17 UK at what was once called Dudley Field.

It was a glorious Saturday afternoon in ’55.

The Charley Horton/ Phil “Chief” King-led Dores throttled the Cats, 34-0.

On the way home, we stopped for dinner at some place along 31W. Also stopping for some vittles there were UK AD Bernie Shively and other school administrators. Ten year old me, in a new Vandy sweatshirt, had to let them know whom we’d been rooting for.

Shively looked at me and smiled, “You whupped us good.”

* * * * *

One of the heroes of Texas upset of rival A&M was dazzling RB, Quintrevion Wisner.

Wonder how many infants born across the Lone Star state in the next couple months will be named Quintrevion, and how many might be dubbed Arch?

* * * * *

Lovers of the ACC need to pray Virginia wins the title game over Duke.

* * * * *

Fun is Bowling.

So sayeth the iconic sign in St. Matthews.

Not always in college football these days, given the opt outs, TPers, and less than balmy climes at which some of them are contested.

As for the Cardinals, there seems to be a sort of consensus that they’ll be headed for Beantown for the Fenway Bowl — take your down jacket and long johns — the Pinstripe Bowl — same packing advice — the Sun Bowl in warm but distant El Paso, or the Mayo Bowl.

Round and round the spinning wheel swirls.

Where it stops nobody knows until Selection Sunday.

— c d kaplan