By Daniella GrayShareNewsweek is a Trust Project memberA Cleveland mom’s controversial take on how families treat new parents during the holidays is going viral.
In a post on Threads, Lauren Ahmed (@laureneahmed) wrote: "New parents get to be ridiculous. You can only come at 10 a.m. because the baby’s nap schedule? Ok, we’ve got bagels. You want to set up a baby monitor in the guest room for a 3-hour visit? Let me get the screwdriver. Every body masks and hand sanitizer for holding baby? Bring on the Purell."
Among all the holiday stress, Ahmed, a mom of two, assured Threads users that new parents may forget how frazzled they were, but they won’t forget who treated them with kindness.
Ahmed had been preparing for the upcoming holidays when the thought took hold. In those early years, she remembers the logistical nightmare of trying to leave the house with two small children.
"The first few holidays felt so difficult; I was so inexperienced at bringing children anywhere, and it felt impossible to cart them around," Ahmed told Newsweek.
View on Threads
Surviving months of broken sleep, Ahmed was unable to put her anxieties into perspective. Now, with her youngest finally past the toddler stage, she realized how easy it is to forget that season of life—and how crucial it is not to.
Part of why tensions around boundaries, schedules and expectations—especially for new parents—become so heightened during holiday gatherings, Ahmed said, is that the season is steeped in ritual. Disruption to the norm can feel like a threat to tradition.
"Holidays are about tradition," she added, referencing a recent piece she wrote on her parenting Substack, The Pomegranate. "We are attached to the idea of doing things the same way we always have, and so when new challenges arise, it can feel frustrating for everyone."
Meanwhile, experienced parents can unintentionally make things worse: knowing how much easier it gets, they want their newer counterparts to speed up the process and find their footing. "In reality, you can't," Ahmed said. "You are never going to be as confident on your first day as you are on your 1,000th."
Ahmed’s post has received over 25,000 likes, shares and comments combined.
Many parents shared stories from days of being deep in the newborn trenches and how family members stepped up to help them.
"The year our son was born, we had thanksgiving at hubby’s grandparents' house. Our son was barely a month old. His grandma took the baby, gave me water, and directed me to the guest room for rest & sleep. I am forever grateful to her for that," one user wrote.
"My parents house has four nails in walls, one in each bedroom, empty and random. They're for the camera to our baby monitor. It's such a tiny thing, but my in-laws threw such a conniption over the same request. Guess who we visit more often?" another shared.
...Ahmed said the response on Threads has been "lovely" and full of people who felt seen.
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