Nebraska vs Iowa: The Annual Torture Session We Call a Football Game
There’s something uniquely awful about Nebraska vs Iowa. It’s not just that we lose these games—it’s HOW we lose them. Iowa sits there with 10 points, waiting for us to make a mistake. And we do. Every single time.
AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementLast year? Dylan Raiola fumble late in the game. Free gift. Field goal. Loss. Horrifying.
We played 98 out of 100 plays correctly, and it didn’t matter. That’s Iowa football. They don’t beat you—they wait for you to beat yourself, then steal your lunch money on the way out.
But here’s what nobody’s talking about: Iowa isn’t as good this year. They’re not dominant on the lines like years past. They don’t have an NFL-caliber back like Kaleb Johnson. Marc Gronowski, their quarterback, sails passes and makes horrible decisions—until he doesn’t.
Watch that Michigan State game. Down 17-10 in the fourth quarter, Iowa’s body language said they knew they were winning. And they did, 20-17, because Gronowski suddenly turned on some internal power (probably in league with the devil like everyone else at Iowa).
AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementMatt Rhule says Iowa is “comfortable in close games.” They’re more than comfortable—they’re serial killers. They let you crawl to the door, let you have hope, then end you. That’s exactly what happened to Michigan State.
For Nebraska vs Iowa to go our way, we need 28 points and a defense that doesn’t miss eight assignments in a row like we did against Penn State. We need John Butler to figure out how to stop the run, especially the counter.
We need special teams to actually show up—maybe block a punt, definitely don’t kick to Wetjen, their returner who Michigan State stupidly punted to all game.
And we need to play loose and free, which Matt Rhule keeps saying but we never actually do. Are we going to throw dinky two-yard passes and hope they turn into 15-yard gains? Or will we actually let TJ Lateef throw 30-40 yards downfield? Because an interception on a deep ball is basically a punt, which is better than fumbling in our own backfield.
AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementWhy do I hate Iowa? Because they settle. They’re fine with Kurt Ferentz never winning a championship. They weaponize the “wave to the kids” as virtue signaling while their fans throw beer at opposing players. Ask any Big Ten fan: Wisconsin hates Iowa. Minnesota hates Iowa. Oregon and USC are learning to hate Iowa. Everybody hates Iowa because they’re insufferable.
8-4 sounds better than 7-5.
Let’s get it done.
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